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Among the many
issues that teens have to confront these days,
substance use is one of the most widespread. Most
parents know that it’s important to talk with your
teen about drugs and alcohol. It's not
always easy to have that conversation. How
do you
talk to your teen about drugs? Here are a few tips:
Don’t lecture
As always, when the speech starts, your teen stops
listening. Try starting a conversation with
questions instead. How easy is it to find drugs at
your school? What do you think about drug use? Are
there some kids you know who have problems with
drinking? You may want to agree to some “immunity”
for your teen for sharing this information with
you. “I won’t make you stop being friends with
someone as long as you’re not in danger when you
hang out together", for example.
Don’t overstate the danger
Don’t try
to use overblown scare tactics to get your teen’s
attention. Many teens will quickly see through any
over-dramatizing, whether it’s in a commercial or a
conversation with you. The truth is that not
everyone who drinks alcohol or uses drugs will abuse
them
or become addicted. It’s OK to acknowledge that.
Point out, though, that even though some people
experiment with drugs with little or no problems,
drugs like cocaine, meth or heroin can harm or kill
someone the first time.
Explain the real risks
The problem with
drugs and alcohol is that while not everyone will
become an addict, anyone can become one. One person
can use heavily without developing a problem; others
can use infrequently and become dependent. As
Anthony Wolf, PhD. explains, the only way you know for
sure which one you will be is when you become an
addict.
Your teen
needs to know about any factors that may put him or
her at
risk. Studies have shown consistently that a family
history of drug or alcohol dependence can put a
person at greater risk for substance abuse. If your
teen has a family history of problems with drugs or
alcohol, make sure he or she knows to be extra
careful about his or her choices.
Don’t forget the other
problems
Remember, drug and alcohol use has other dangers
besides addiction. Underage alcohol use is
illegal. All recreational drug use is illegal.
Teens can get themselves or their friends into
serious trouble. Also, drugs and alcohol make teens
vulnerable to really dangerous behavior like driving
impaired or having unsafe sex. Criminals look for
potential victims who seem less aware of their
surroundings, and a drunk or high teen can be an
easy target.
There may be higher risks for
girls
Alcohol and drugs are dangerous for teens, period.
Some evidence suggests, though, that females are at
greater risk for getting drunker quicker, and for
abuse or addiction problems, than males. This is
because most females metabolize or “absorb” alcohol
more slowly than males. This leaves the alcohol in
their systems longer and intoxication can be more
severe.
Beware of bingeing
For both males and females, some of the most
dangerous drinking is “binge drinking”, or drinking
as much alcohol as possible in the shortest time.
Bingeing is often a party game or part of a college
initiation. This kind of consumption can lead to
coma or death because the brain simply cannot handle
so much alcohol all at once. Tell your teen to
avoid those kinds of games.
Be truthful
If your teen asks about your use when you were a
teen or young adult, tell the truth. If you
experimented in your youth, say so. You don’t have
to go into detail. You can also talk about what you
thought then, what you think about it now, and how
your mistakes (or close calls) have affected your
life today. Sometimes teens make the
argument, “Well, you have a
couple beers after work. Isn’t that the same
thing?” It’s OK and important to say, yes, there are
some things about that which are the same. But
there are differences too. The differences are:
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It’s legal
for me to use alcohol.
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I'm not
putting myself or others at risk (i.e., driving
drunk).
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You are still
learning to make important decisions. Alcohol
and drugs make it harder for you to do that (see
above).
Acknowledge your own issues
This may be tough, but teens listen to and respect
adults who can admit their own mistakes and
inconsistencies. You may decide to confront your
own use and make changes in your life. It’s OK for
your teen to know that you are addressing your own
problems. It’s even OK for your teen to see how
tough that can be, especially if they also see you
continuing to try.
Remember, teens report that their parents’ rules and
expectations are a deterrent to using drugs and
alcohol. Talk to your teen!
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